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Readers of The Onion will be dismayed as the merger continues The political satire and trifle of the site will be replaced with boring send ups of Nick Lachey’s most recent movie, triple underline for maximum clicking convenience Illiterates should rejoice as article content will play a secondary fiddle to The Onion’s new advertisement system delivering video streamed ads for BET's 106 and park, Carlos Mencias’ Blog, and endorsements for the newest body spray Absent from the site will be the driving soul that escalated The Onion to it's current fame, replaced by flash embedded sheens and progressive color choices

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